|Benjamin Franklin echoed of it as a rare gem. King David found it surpassing a woman’s love in 2nd Samuel 1:26 and in our Christian living, it is a mark etched in our titles from servants- John 15:15. It is genuine, spotless, unconditional, untainted, intentional, honors God, and selfless. It is pure friendship. When mentioned one recalls such a person, a close friend, and even reminisces of the friendship.|
|But is that close friendship pure and intentional? How do you get to secern it from ‘friends with benefits’ ‘friends out of respect or a privilege,’ ‘friends simply because can’t be an enemy.’ Can it be paraded before God’s law and be found spotless and pleasant to God? Let’s munch together on the delicate question and get things aligning to Christ.|
A true friend is the one who knows the best and the worse from us and still loves us the same. The best example being God’s impregnable love and the friendship He offers to us. John 15:13 greater is no love than this that a man lay down His life for His friends But do we reciprocate that friendship in the same pure and unconditional way or do we accept it under the condition that God should do this and that? Can the friendship be ranked with that of David and Jonathan?
Pure friendship is more of symbiosis, not a parasitic relationship, as science would elicit. It runs with a constitution called boundaries which must be guarded for a friendship to work out. The constitution is made of acts from both parties. It is therefore crucial that a person has his or her laws i.e. boundaries and distinctively state them prior to the friendship. A pure friendship constitution must be founded in Christ just as the friendship is. This makes it easier to derive the laws that will align with God’s will and also bring the best of the friendship. A disclaimer is that however intentional and unconditional a pure friendship is when the boundaries are overlooked or invalidated it gives solid grounds for a pure friendship to break since it is tainted. John 15:14 you are my friends if you do what I command you.
How can we keep the friendship pure and without crossing the boundaries? We should know what the Bible says about friendship and its limits; In Romans 12:10, Paul encourages us to have genuine love. Praying to God to sustain the friendship. Also, the friendship’s accountability is core to ensure the limits are kept intact. “If you take a girl for coffee and set her apart from other girls you have an agenda.” Unless you want to take the relationship to courtship then it is advisable not to separate from the crowd and also to restrict ourselves.
Though positive and positive always repel we can agree that they understand each other better. It is, therefore, easier to have pure friendship between the same gender on basis of better understanding and sharing a camaraderie between them. Memes say that men who randomly meet will become best buddies without knowing each other names. ladies will stick together, advice and encourage in any situation. That does not dispute that the opposite gender can have pure friendship neither does it nullify basic science that the opposite attracts but if they attract with pure intentions then it becomes a bond to reckon with.
The punchline is just like pure salt is from the purest parents, sun and sea so is pure friendship from two people with pure intentions. With Christ being our mentor let our friendships reflect a Christ-like way. It is wise if like a sculptor you curve a friendship from a stone this way you learn and grow together. Indeed, a true friend is the one who gives you a book you have not read.